This is something I've just got to get off my chest...
I gave birth to 6 wonderful, perfect, fantastic children... no, they don't all have the same fathers. Most do, but not all. I was a bit promiscuous back in the day. Yes I know that isn't the thing many folks would want put out there, and I'm not quite sure I do either, but that is what needs to be said for what I feel I need to write about.
I'm sure I will never be a successful blogger, but I was a successful Mom. All of my children are now adults, working toward lives of their own. I think I did a pretty good job in raising them. I did it on my own, because the other part of them walked away. I am mainly speaking of my last two daughters...
My 21 year old, dimple faced beauty was never acknowledged by her father. He knew about her, we shopped for maternity clothes, he made promises that I should have known he wouldn't keep, his Dad was excited about becoming a Grandpa, but it was not meant to be.
And that was ok. He disappeared out of her life, resurfaced for (I think) a week when she was three, and *poof!* gone again.
She wanted to find him and see what he was like, now that she's 21. I told her his name, and she found him on FaceBook. Yea, the ultimate "let's dig up old past friends and wounds" place... What did Mr. Wonderful do? Told her she wasn't his. Told her he didn't know I was pregnant. Told her I had never said a word. Said he wouldn't believe it until a paternity test was done. Then proceeded to contact that Steve Wilkos Show wanting me to go on national television to get a paternity test done. (I never said I was very smart back then...apparently he is still not...) He continues to deny her, and it beaks my heart knowing that she is searching, and he is running. I've tried to talk to her, but it doesn't help. I want to take away that pain, but I can't.
My youngest is my 20 year old brown eyed Princess, and of course, another FaceBook story... she had to "find herself" by looking up the man who gave her up for adoption when she was 4 years old. He doesn't deny her, but I don't understand how someone can make a child, have nothing to do with them for 16 years, then suddenly waltz back into their life with no regard of what they've done? He was never there to wipe a snotty nose, to comfort a bad dream, to buy a prom dress, or to teach her how to drive, but now wants the recognition and respect to be "Dad"?
I don't think he has earned that title; and even less to be called "Grandpa". He would have been allowed to be in her life, had he tried, but he gave up. He gave up the responsibility, and with that, he gave up that right.
I have made bad choices in my life, and obviously, these two affairs were major ones. But without them, I wouldn't have my most precious blessings. I adore my girls (all of my children), and I hate that I am unable to protect them.
I just don't understand how men (or women) can walk away because they don't get along with the other they have chosen to make the baby with. And once a person walks away and out of a child's life, how dare they think they can walk back in without repercussion?
However, I guess in my case, it's too late, because these two men have decided to try and destroy my beautiful daughters lives with their quite different, but eerily utterly similar behavior.
In conclusion, can I just simply say to anyone who may read this... Please, please, please.... when you make a child, be there. No matter if you want to "be with" the other parent or not. You just never realize what you are doing to that child, even as an adult. My girls are wonderful, well rounded , successful adults... but what has happened to them, hurts, and that's wrong. Why would anyone want to hurt one they supposedly "love"? Maybe that word is just a bit overused these days... ya think?
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