So... been working the past couple of nights. It was good to get back and see my co workers and friends. I do love my job, even with all the craziness that happens when families are faced with what these folks are going through. The fears, the tears, and the tension and sometimes drama. Patients families can get really haywire at times. It's understandable though. People hear the word "hospice" and they think instantly of "OMG... death". Hospice isn't like that though. At least not for me. Hospice to me is kindness, laughter, smiles , gentle caring and love through a persons last days here on this earth. For the patient as well as the family. I build a rapport with my families I take care of, and the patients. Even into death and beyond, I do my best to care for them with everything they might need. Who knows? Maybe one day I may need that type of care, and I can only hope that I will be treated with kindness and respect as well.
Laughter abounds some days, such as one of my patients asking me (just last night) if I enjoyed my vacation recently, and I told her that yes... yes I did. And that I had gotten married.... she replied to me "Oh! OH you got married???" And as I pulled out a photo to show her of my new husband and myself, she replied to me... "Oh he's handsome! I thought you were gay!" I laughed so hard I very nearly tinkled myself.... LOL! Who are these people and why are they always around me??? She is a true gem and blessing to me, and I was no where near offended. Why should I be? She brings smiles to me whenever I get to work with her.
Another memory of quite a few years ago is of a gentleman who was rough and gruff around the edges, so the office "gave him to me cause I could handle that type of person". In other words, no one else wanted him cause he was a mean grumpy old man. LOL! He would cuss at me and I would smile, he would yell at me, and I would continue my care for him. As the months went by and cancer continued to ravage his body, we became close. I would sit by his bed and listen to him talk, knowing this was exactly what was needed at that time for his comfort. The nursing home he was in would even call me to go flush his port when it was due cause he would yell at the other nurses that came into his room. LOL!
Needless to say, we became close. He asked if I would be there when his time came. I said yes. The man had family, but they didn't want to be in the room when he passed (their choice- maybe his?). So when it was close, my team, the other disciplines of hospice who were there and they kept me informed. I got to him as quickly as I could. I held his hand and sat next to his bed until his last breath. Talking to him, singing to him and praying for him. I was alright after ward, until the Chaplain tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was alright. Only then did I burst into tears for this poor angry lost soul of a man who had touched me so deeply.... I will always miss him and he will forever hold a special place in my heart.
Another family lost their husband and father on Thanksgiving Day a few years back. I spent Thanksgiving sitting on his bed with him, medicating him every 30 minutes to try and calm the seizures that wracked his body over and over. To this day, I am friends with his wife on Face Book and we keep in contact throughout. She always reminds me during hard times that he is watching over me from heaven. I may have lost out on dinner with my family, but they lost something much much more that day.
I have been more blessed in this job than any other, and even throughout the more difficult days and trying families and demanding hours, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Have a blessed day everyone. <3